Tuesday, December 30, 2008

These Things I Have Learnded

So last night I got to thinking that my life's about to change - a lot. Why? you might ask. Well, in 8 short weeks I will finish up what started as a desire to play my trumpet and take meaningless "generals" and what ended up being nearly a decade of 'formal' education. If you knew me as a kid then you'd be floored that I even went to college - let alone graduate school. It definately wasn't in MY plans. I also wasn't going to be an accountant. NO WAY would I do that.

It's all Jodie and I have known throughout our entire lives together. The safe, secure, predictable blanket of Weber State has always been a part of our family. We've never NOT known school. So the thought of being "free" to do whatever we want to do is really something new to me. What do we do? Where do we go? What next? - All tough questions.... any suggestions?

I decided to list the top 10 things I learned from my edumacation. I'll try to put them in order of importance, but the list is subject to change.

10) Signing up for classes as a freshman or sophmore is half the battle; especially when your last name starts with "Y"

9) It's pretty fun to take a test on the proper way to score a game of bowling when sitting next to some guy busting his brains out on a chemistry test. (glad I'm not THAT guy!) Bowling gives you 3 phys. ed. credits and Running gives you 3 phys. ed. credits. Hmmmm. Tough choice.

8) Playing in the marching band takes up a ton of time. I figured that it's the equivalent of being paid aboooouuuut $2.50 an hour. No Shanks.

7) They give you donuts in your first business class to get you hooked. It's all business after that.

6) Working in Excel is not acceptable - because everyone knows that real professionals use calculators on important stuff.

5) Rounding to 6 digits is not only required, it's essential in helping the earth stay in orbit.

4) Professors who teach Statistics are those who majored in it and then looked for jobs - only to realize that all they could do was jot down every meaningless action taken by an athlete during a game, or teach stats to someone else. (no offense to Dan Jones and his totally unstatistical polls)

3) An equation is only as good as it's inputs. Garbage in - Garbage out.

2) The economy in general is based on expectations and perception - not reality. (really)

1) Those who can't 'do', teach!

Oh ya - apparently my blood is purple. Eat THAT science. You thought it was either blue or red, depending on its oxygen content. Wrong you are. Apparently you missed out in PRE-school when you were taught that you could MIX colors. These things I know.

Who up for another degree? Ph.D? J.D.? M.D.? A.E.I.O.U.? And sometimes Y?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Mr. Brightside vs. Mr. Cynicalside

Showing our thankfulness.
"More like showing our thankfulness through gluttony! We get together once a year to eat a ton of food and be thankful. Don't all Americans already eat a ton of food everyday? Are we only thankful once a year? Or do we just have to set aside a time of year to remind ourselves to be thankful?" - Sincerely, Mr. Cynicalside

"Now hold on a second Mr. Cynicalside. Don't be so hard on everyone. It isn't that easy for everyone to get together all the time and Thanksgiving allows us that opportunity. Getting together with good family and enjoying good food is what life is all about. Don't be too quick to judge; true, there are those who aren't thankful for what they have but most people are mindful of what they have and are thankful all year long." Sincerely, Mr. Brightside

The True Spirit of Christmas.
"Every year it's the same thing: we talk about celebrating the true spirit of Christmas in remembering the Saviors birth - and then we over-extend ourselves financially under the ever-increasing pressures of merchants all around us that bank on our addiction to spend. Families that can only spend $50 on their families Christmas presents are pitied by charities who hand out donated cash like it's candy. Every news story is about how much more or less consumers are spending as compared to last year. Companies vie for our children's attention in hopes that they'll badger their parents into buying the latest overpriced toy. We have more talks and songs about the true meaning of Christmas - and then the only question everyone asks on Christmas day is "what did you get for Christmas?" Everything we hear, see, or eat is brought to us by people just in it to make a quick buck around the holidays. Take people like Neil Diamond for instance. Here we have a total Jew who, for a quick buck is willing to sing about Christ being the Savior of the world. Wow! Would any of us be so low as to sing about Christ NOT being the Savior if it meant that we sell a few records? Hypocracy knows no bounds. And don't even get me started on this whole 'Santa' thing! Who does he think he is?" Sincerely, Mr. Cynicalside

"Mr. Cynicalside, I think you're taking this whole commercialization thing way out of proportion. True, there are those who overspend year after year and who focus on getting the latest and greatest, but they are the exception more than the rule. From my perspective, most people are very giving and generous around the holidays because they feel an extra sense of kinship not found at other times during the year. Music, movies, food... they all bring us together and help us celebrate what matters most in life. Don't worry too much about the commercial side of Christmas and just enjoy those things that matter most in life." Sincerely Mr. Brightside

Happy New Year!
"Every year people think that some magical button will be pressed on January 1st that will somehow supplement their willpower and transform them into the most efficient, time saving, consistently helpful, always kind, and ever-knowledgeable person. Maybe it's the whole staying up till midnight thing that does it to people. Then these people walk around the first 2 weeks of every year in denial - wondering why they just can't seem to stay on their grapefruit diet or run the 3 miles a day like they had planned. People need to get a life and realize that a new day starts every 24 hours - not every 365 days. I can't wait till late January when everything gets back to normal. Everything that is, except all those pesky credit card bills that help us all remember the true spirit of Christmas." Sincerely, Mr. Cynicalside

"Mr. Cynicalside, altough I agree that there are many people who love putting off till tomorrow that which should be done today - there are those who consistenly try to make today better than yesterday. Changing habits isn't easy. We need all the encouragement we can get. Every year we get a fresh start and encouragement from everyone around us. So I couldn't think of a better time to rekindle those desires to change our lives for the better." Sincerely, Mr. Brightside

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Super Star!

So, tomorrow is my work's Christmas party. It's a fun time of year, when we get to mingle and enjoy each others company while our spouses look on and wonder who the heck they married.  A lot of bonding goes on at these parties.  Click's are formed. Alliances created. Tis the season!

This year the "white elephant" is not really a white elephant.  They're calling it a "gift exchange."  In other words - bring something you wouldn't mind taking home.  I'm totally cool with that.  Just as long as somebody do
esn't try and pawn off garage junk.  I decided to go all out this year - ya know, actually put some thought into my gifts.  We bought a box of oranges and a hand juicer.  Not too shabby, I thought. I'd love to take it home.  

I bet you're asking yourself - why the heck would a box of oranges make Mike a Super Star? They wouldn't - but THIS would!

That's right. It took a bit of shopping, but I managed to find a mug with a picture of my mug! Love it. LOVE. IT.

It came as part of a set.

 Sorry - I bought the last one. I guess you'll have to come to my party tomorrow and see if you're lucky enough to walk away with these bad boys.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Kalli Bug

This morning Kalli drew a picture for Jodie (I'd say it was for ME but Jodie will read this :-)  Kalli said that this is a picture of "mom as a baby and then she grows up and here she is in the sunshine"

May I point out (yes you may) that Kalli even went to the trouble to draw a PUPIL and an IRIS for each eye - holy smokin' cows, Batman!  I don't think I figured that part out till, um, well, that's not important.